LET GET THIS OUT OF WAY, HULK ONCE THE BIGGEST STAR WARS FAN EVER.
HULK GREW UP ON THE MOVIES. CHERISHED EVERY VIEWING. HULK PLAYED EVERY GAME, KNEW EVERY NAME OF SHIP, THEIR CLASS, AND DESIGNER. HULK KNEW EVERY BLASTER, CITY, PLANET, AND SYSTEM. YOU NAME IT, HULK KNEW IT. HULK PLAYED X-WING. TIE FIGHTER. X-WING VS. TIE FIGHTER. ALL THE REBEL ASSAULTS. EVERY DARK FORCES/JEDI KNIGHT. THE TERRIBLE MOVIE TIE-IN GAMES, THE LEGO SERIES. HULK EVEN READ BIG CHUNKS OF EXTENDED UNIVERSE (BUT RARELY ENJOYED). TO BOOT, HULK HAVE EXCELLENT LONG TERM MEMORY AND JUST AS HULK REMEMBER LOTS OF THIS USELESS DATA, IE HULK CAN RECITE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOSSK’S STANDARD RIFLE AND HIS CONCUSSION RIFLE FROM THE GAMES… YUP, IT THAT NERDY.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT BOND HULK WITH FATHER, BROTHER, AND FRIENDS AT SCHOOL. THERE BLOOD TIES TO THIS THING.
BUT NOW… HULK DONE.
IT TOOK A LOT FOR THIS HAPPEN: THREE ATROCIOUS PREQUEL MOVIES, WHICH HULK FIRST ATTEMPTED TO DEFEND OUT OF SOME KIND OF MOROSE SENSE OF HONOR. IT TAKE HUNDREDS OF ANGRY, ANGRY FANS GIVING HULK CRAP WHEN HULK TRY BRING UP EVEN THE SLIGHTEST NITPICK, FANS WHO NO UNDERSTAND A SINGLE CINEMATIC COMPONENT OF ANYTHING. IT TAKE TIME AND PERSPECTIVE. IT TAKE MATURATION. IT TAKE SOME ASSHOLE STEALING HULK’S 70’S/80’S ERA STAR WARS TOYS FROM THE HOUSE. IT TOOK THE LUCAS LICENSING FIRM TO GO FROM JUST BEING OPPORTUNISTIC TO OUTRIGHT GLUTTONOUS. IT TOOK THE WELL-CRAFTED PIONEERING NATURE OF LUCASARTS GAMING BECOME A RUSHED-PRODUCTION NIGHTMARE OF HALF-THOUGHT-OUT SHIT PILES. IT TOOK TERRIBLE TV SERIES, THREE FAMILY GUY PARODIES, THREE ROBOT CHICKEN PARODIES, AND APPROXIMATELY 40,000 INTERNET VIDEOS WHICH SHARE THE OCCASIONAL WELL-OBSERVED. BUT MOSTLY THE VIDEOS OPERATE AS SOME KIND OF NONSENSICAL AND INANE POP CULTURE MASH-UP… IT TAKE A VADER APPEARANCE IN NIGHT AT THE FUCKING MUSEUM 2.
EVERY BIT OF CLEVERNESS AND JOY HAVE BECOME NOTHING BUT A RECYCLING OR RECYCLING OF RECYCLING. HULK ENJOYED THESE BITS LESS AND LESS FREQUENTLY OVER TIME AND NOW THERE JUST NOTHING THERE. NO REACTION. HULK FIND NOTHING CUTE ABOUT ANY OF IT. HULK SEEN EVERY PARODY IMAGINABLE. IT JUST SEEM SO PAVLOVIAN, SO HOLLOW. LIKE THE SATURATION POINT = LONG SINCE PAST. FAMILIARITY INDEED BREED CONTEMPT… AND STAR WARS NOW BEYOND FAMILIAR. NOT JUST THE PROPERTY, BUT EVERY PERMUTATION, INTERPRETATION, OBSERVATION, AND JOKE.
SO HULK JUST DONE.
THE FEELING NOT NEW. HULK HAVE FRIENDS WHO REACH THAT POINT IN LAST FEW YEARS AND HULK ALWAYS DEFEND IN SOME WAY EVEN THOUGH HULK STARTED FEELING SAME WAY. HULK SAY “YEAH, IT SO TIRED NOW BUT PEOPLE STILL ENJOY IT. NO NEED CRAP ON IT!” HULK ALWAYS TRY TO HUMANIZE AND APPROXIMATE THE STAR WARS EXPERIENCE.
BUT TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPEN.
HULK FIND HULKSELF IN MIDST OF “STAR WARS DAY” … HULK FIND THIS ODD CAUSE HULK NEVER FREAKING HEARD OF IT BEFORE. AT FIRST HULK TRY GET THROUGH IT. HULK SEE A FEW CLEVER WELL-MEANING JOKES ONLINE. BUT ULTIMATELY HULK HAVE TURN OFF TWITTER, WHICH SUDDENLY ALIVE WITH STAR WARS NONSENSE. HULK BASICALLY SHUT OFF INTERNET AND JUST IGNORE WHAT MAKING HULK ANGRY…. REALLY… REALLY ANGRY.
WHEN HULK FINALLY START AFTERNOON WORK ROUTINE AND TURN ON ESPN… THEY ALL THERE… BOBA FETT… STORMTROOPERS… VADER.
HULK SMASHED TV AND HURL IT INTO HORIZON (READ: HULK JUST SWEAR LOUDLY AND SHUT IT OFF).
THIS NOT SOME TEMPERAMENTAL, A.D.D. REACTION. THIS NOT GETTING SICK OF SOMETHING IN SIX SECONDS. THIS NOT THE ENJOY-AND-DISPOSE CULTURE AT WORK. IT YEARS OF BUILDUP. WHAT HULK ONCE FELT STAUNCHLY DUTY-BOUND TO DEFEND, HULK NOW WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH.
STAR WARS ONCE SHINING LIGHT IN HULK’S LIFE. BUT IT GONE SUPERNOVA, EXTINGUISHED INTO NOTHINGNESS, REPLACED BY BLACK HOLE OF CULTURAL NADIR.
NOW IF EXCUSE, HULK GONNA START WATCHING DR. WHO NOW.